THE WINNER OF THE 2021 LEGAL CHRISTMAS SONG CONTEST: (BUT EVERYONE’S A WINNER OF COURSE…)
The results of the 2021 Legal Christmas Music contest were announced on Twitter earlier this month. The (plastic) trophy has been sent to the Secret Barrister for signature and is on its way to the winner. The winner remains anonymous, but I am allowed to tell you the prize is on its way to Wales. Christmas Eve is the best day to remind people of the winning entries. I like to thank all those who took part (all the entries can be seen here) and donated to food banks. I will be blogging again the other side of Christmas.
THE WINNER – FROM HHJ GRINCH
Verse 1
Raab rest ye merry, advocates,
Let nothing you dismay
Except you’re doing lots of work
For very little pay
And CVP is down again
And Clickshare just won’t play
O listings of mention and fix, mention and fix
O listings of mention and fix
Verse 2
HMP Slade’s in lockdown so
No conference can be set
The robing room’s unsafe to use
You’re heavily in debt
Your brief fee pays for half the sandwich
That you bought in Pret
O listings of mention and fix, mention and fix
O listings of mention and fix
Verses 3 onwards
(Awaiting further disclosure from the CPS, apologies for the delay)
SECOND PLACE
The Masked Sanitisers (Carpenters Group)
Away in a Law Firm
Away in a Law Firm
Most are working at home
We don’t really love that
We feel all alone
The helpline is busy
Another neighbour dispute
Pandemic pups barking
They are no longer cute
The door bell is ringing
Its Amazon for me
Ill open that later
I have a teams call at 3
My colleagues look scary
Their hair has grown long
Still in their PJs
Ive told them that’s wrong
Now back to the office
With the two meter rule
I am wearing a face mask
Because I am no fool
Its business as usual
Seeing clients on line
Court hearings remotely
It will all be fine
Christmas party is cancelled
Because Boris said No
A new variant has stopped us
That’s now two in a row.
We will all get through this
Just live for today
Have a few double vodkas
And go asleep on the hay.
THIRD PLACE
From @bramptonmel
The DCJ’s Lament (to the tune of White Christmas)
I’m dreaming of pre-Covid Christmas
Just like the ones we used to know
Waiting rooms were heaving
With Counsel pleading
To let their case be next to go
I’m dreaming of pre-Covid Christmas
With every blessed CVP
May the backlog start to decrease
And may all your small claims settle please