THE LEGAL CHRISTMAS MUSIC CONTEST 2019: WIN A BEAR & BECOME A SONGWRITER: SUPPORTING FOOD BANKS
The Legal Christmas Music contest is back, for the fourth year running. All that is required to enter is that you make, or agree you will make, a donation to a food bank: after that is (as ever) down to skill, talent and a large amount of luck.
THE PRIZE
The winner gets the bear. I’m also hoping to get the winning entry recorded.
THE CONTEST
This year it is more challenging. Taking any traditional Christmas Carol or song adapt -or re-write- two verses (and only two verses) that are relevant to lawyers or litigators.
TO ENTER
Just agree that you are going to make a donation to a foodbank (see section below). The donation can be via the collection baskets that many major supermarkets have in their premises.
Tweet your verses using the #Lexmas19 hashtag or put it on the comments section of this blog.
There are no entry criteria. You don’t have to be a lawyer to enter. You don’t have to be in the UK.
You can enter as an individual, as a group or even as a firm. (Bear in mind there is only one bear).
THE CLOSING DATE (AND TIME): 10th DECEMBER 2019
The closing date is 4.00 pm on the 10th December 2018. Note the early closing date. This is to ensure that the winner gets the bear from Christmas and that we get the chance to record the winning entry, which should then (technology allowing) be able to be viewed on this blog.
THE JUDGING CRITERIA
There are no objective criteria (so far as I can tell). No form of entry has preference over another. All bets are off (or on). There is everything to play for.
I’m hoping to pass off the job of judging to a real live judge and some specialist assistants. They will have to remain anonymous to avoid any risk of lobbying, unnecessary skeleton arguments , lengthy bundles, etc.
OUR PATRON
Our patron this year is Director of Carpenters – this was a real sacrifice for her as she really wants that bear, but is now unable to enter. (We have no clear idea of what the “patron” does, but other things had “patrons” and I thought it was about time the Music Competition had one. Donna has gone on record as stating that it will stand her in good stead with the nuns that taught her, they were quite keen on “patron saints”.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER
The judges’ decision will be final. No system of appeal exists. If you lose you can (and indeed must) complain on Twitter (or in the comments section below) that you were robbed. That will be your sole legal remedy. You will have to live with the fact that you are not, in fact, the best lawyer in the world.
DONATING TO A FOOD BANK
- A list of food banks are available here.
- Many major supermarkets have collection baskets.
I undertake to make a donation to a food bank and tender the following effort:
Once in Royal Courts of Justice
Stood a gutted paralegal
When relief from sanctions had been
Refused and the costs were evil
The claim’s service non-compliant
Soon be suing would the client
She looked down from bench to table
Who is judge of rules of court
Never wait to serve she declared
Lest your efforts do fall short
Read the blog by that barrister
So next time you will do better
In the bleak midwinter
A frosty judge did moan
I stood and craved relief
His heart was hard as stone
Breaches had happened, breach on breach
Breaches on breach
In the bleak midwinter
Not long ago
What can I tell him
In breach or so they say?
If I was called Denton
I might find a way
If I was in person
Perhaps I’d have a chance
But as it is I’m buggered
Today’s not been my day
Now there were once two sisters
But mummy loved one best,
And in the will Holly got some cash
And Ivy got the rest
Oh, the rising of the sun,
And the running of the deer,
As sure as day follows on from night
There’s a probate claim next year.
Our Holly bore a long grudge,
As sharp as any thorn;
And Ivy did reciprocate
So they’d not settle on the morn.
Oh, the rising of the sun,
And the running of the deer,
As sure as day follows on from night
There’s a probate claim next year.
A donation is on its way to the Chiltern Foodbank