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Oh come Oh Come New Manual
Oh whether Accounts or Ethics or CPR
And ransom busy lawyers with few fees
Until the God of Sense once more appears.
Resign! Resign! Despairing Court Users
Shall come to thee a Cube inspection soon
O Come thou cost budgeting slave
The court shall strike down thy professed fair day’s fee
Thy spirit wains with each fee hour cut
Disperse the hopes of paying staff salaries
Give up! Give Up! A new Manual will come
Perhaps they’ll get it right in Kingdom come
Denise Broomfield: Bonallack and Bishop
( to be sung to the tune of Away in a Manger)
In hope of a hearing
No Court for my trial
I’ll bus it to Swindon
And wait for a while
My nose I am blowing
As I have a cold
And client could keel over
As he’s 90 years old.
The foyer is draughty
The usher awaits
But District Judge Williams**
No progress doth make
After another stewed coffee
The Usher calls time
So its back on the bus home
To a large glass of wine!
** With apologies to all District Judge Williams, I am sure they are all marvellous and super speedy and wouldn’t consider allowing a solicitor with a cold and a 90 year old to sit in a draughty foyer for hours!
#Lexmas19
Hark the Claimant angels sing
The Discount Rate is fair – ker-ching!
The cash should last, it’s not a gesture
Prudence is the investor
It’s nowt to do with increased premiums
That’s the ABI taking through their medium
It’s all about getting fair compo
When they won’t agree a PPO
Roll on 2024
Then we can all debate some more
With apols for the poor scanning and that it is only one verse…it took hours!
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, before I write
An application to go to court
It takes much longer than I thought
No sleep for lawyers tonight
No sleep for lawyers tonight
Silent night, holy night
Papers lodged but there’s a fright
The Court has lost the documents
And paid the fee from our accounts
I wish they’d answer the phone
I wish they’d answer the phone